Happy 23rd Birthday to the best brother ever!!

Who is this handsome young man and what has he done with my baby brother?!
I love you Scotty, always.

Wow. Time has certainly gotten away from me. Today is a big day, in all seriousness really.
It's the day Marty McFly went "Back to the Future!"
I remember watching that movie for the first time with my family, sitting in our living room. I was so excited when my parents told me that I'd be alive October 21, 2015
I remember being sure that my whole family would be there.
But life has different plans sometimes.
He has greater plans.
So I've been told.

I caved today. It was accidental, my music was on shuffle. It certainly isn't the first time my iTunes has played my Christmas music before, but I usually breeze right on by when that happens. But I opted out and just listened to the song that played. "The First Noel." One of my most favorites. Even as a child it could bring me to tears. And 27 years later it still does.

You should know dear reader, that the month of October is when the holiday festivities start in my family. And goes on till Easter. And it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if I'm also feeling a little down because of my baby brother's birthday. Who is this young man?! And where is my baby brother?!

~

I miss Europe with all my heart. I miss the part of me that I got to be while I was over there. I was amazing, I was beautiful, brash and bold, adventurous and very self-aware. I was unstoppable and it was incredible.

But I missed home.
And it's so good to be home.
Christmas back home. (:

But it's still the same every year. I miss a life that I can't ever get back.
I try very hard to get our home to what it used to be, but...
I miss my dad in his silly Christmas sweaters and always lugging a mug of hot, hot chocolate around. A smile on his face as he'd hang out in the kitchen with my mom - making his spritz cookies. Both of them laughing and chatting about their days, and ultimately - us. Nothing made my parents happier then talking about how much they loved us. What a sweet treasured memory.
The CD player in the living room playing on loop all of our family favorite Christmas songs.
The dogs and the cats all clean and ready for Christmas and its festivities, bouncing around trying to snag some treats.
Scotty tinkering around on something in his room, getting ready to astound us all with one of his many homemade and handmade gifts. He is our granddad's grandson, mom would be proud.
My mom.
I miss coming home to my mama. With the Christmas tree up and the smell of fresh baked gingerbread men wafting in from the kitchen, and the beautiful sight of the winter wonderland she has transformed our house into. I miss stay up late at night and tip toeing into the living room and finding my mom sitting on the sofa with no lights but the glow of the Christmas tree and a glass of warm milk waiting for me. Oh Lord, could we sit there and talk for hours. And we did. We most certainly did.

Nothing makes my heart happier and more sad than this time of year.
But I would never take any of it back. The short time I had  in that wonderland, the memories will last me a lifetime.

"Noel Noel Noel Noel, born is the King of Israel."

Sometimes

I look at my body and cringe.
I look at the people around me who I think are so damn beautiful.
And I cry.

A part of me seriously breaks because I have never been such beauty.

And I hate myself.

I have been told that I am very beautiful.
I have been told many times that I am one of the most beautiful people some have ever met.
Lots of men (and women) in Europe I've learned, find Island girls drop dead gorgeous.

But what I hear the most is...

"Oh my God. Katie you are so beautiful. But you'd be far more beautiful if you were thin."

"But..."

"If..."

"Thin."


Self-hatred is real.
And I try so hard to remember that we were all made so very dear and special in the eyes of the Lord.
That for some reason I am supposed to rock the short fat girl title.


I just want to love myself like I love other people.

Both Sides Now

Today marks the one year anniversary of my granddads death.
He came across my mind today.
I sure do miss him.


"i've looked at clouds that way..."

Song of the Day

I'm back home in my dear city. Ah Seattle, how i love you.
And I am also back with another 'Song of the Day!'

Down in Vegas this week, I was at a club dancing with some new friends and this song came on. Beyonce is the Queen, good Lord. Anytime one of her songs come on, you know the night s gonna turn up a whole new level.

I had a blast. I danced and danced like no tomorrow. Laughing, spinning, twirling, moving to the music. These new friends are pretty great and nothing confirms a new friendship like grinding on the dance floor till 4 in the morning.

This song, "Drunk in Love" also reminded me of being back in London. The first time I heard this song. We were supposed to be quiet because of the curfew, but when we walked into the living room our friend Steve was playing some music. Actually, he was drunk and passed out in the dining room. So in the quiet hours of the night, Linnea, Jeff, Zayna, Matt, Andrew, and I danced beneath the fairy lights to this very song. It was just one of many amazing nights with them.

Ah, good memories.

It's so funny how music can trigger so many memories, moments, and emotions.


My 'Song of the day'' -----> Drunk in Love by Beyonce

I'm posting this here because I'm sure I'd get so much freaking backlash if I posted it to Facebook.
I probably will anyway later on.
But this is so important!

I get told I look good a lot, and it frustrates the fucking Hell out of me, cause dammit, you have no idea.

Read this article please: Just because I look"good" doesn't mean I feel it.

Holy moly, I give such kuddos to those who professionally blog and/vlog every day!

I admit, I've been so neglectful of this poor little blog. And it makes me sad, because it was such a big part of my life the past couple of years. But I have come to realize that I am truly an old fuddy-duddy at heart, and I prefer writing down my life with a good ole pen and paper.

The world is still madly spinning on, and I'm doing my best to keep up with it.

I drink more water these days. Less tea.

I bought a bikini today. (OMG I know right?!!)

I have found peace and content with my views on my life and life around me.

I had an epiphany last week, first one that I can actually remember, it was amazing.



While I haven't been traveling around the world like I once was, I'm still growing and exploring right here at home. And you know what? It's really not that bad.


Peace and love everyone!

Song of the Day

Song of the Day, feelin' good edition!!
Purely because, just listening to this song makes me feel good!

Nobody by Kalii  <--- click the link and give it a listen on SoundCloud. (:

This was a fantastic response to a very rude article I read about tattoos. Some shitty person decided to write a piece called, "35 tattoos that all basic girls get."

This is the awesome response:
"As an irrelevant loser with no experience as a tattoo artist, I can confirm that you're probably NOT very clever yourself.

Some of the time people like you feel the need to look down on us mere plebeians and our unoriginal tattoos, which is cool as long as you can be an opinionated jerk in silence. What I hate is that you choose to look down your nose at the followers of certain fads as if to imply that you have never EVER followed a fad before. Or at least if you did, your didn't have the nerve to add meaning to your fad. (Those bitches. Who do they think they're fooling? We know they aren't very clever.)

Honestly, you seem to think that your "call em' as I see em" attitude makes it okay that your hipster meter just shot up by about two hundred almond-milk-lattes. What does it matter to you if some girl wants to get an anchor on her ass-cheek because it signifies true love or some bullshit? You get paid, I get a sore ass filled with meaning. I get that not every tattoo has to be art or original, but what makes you the esteemed authority on deciding what is and isn't art? After all, everything is relative. Didn't you ever study perspective?

I almost feel like I should apologize for the attitude I'm giving you, but I really think that if you take this the right way, you'll be a better person for it. Don't be offended, but if you're going to be a judgmental twat... well people will call you a judgmental twat. Again, I stress that you're welcome to quietly judge everybody and think that you're so much better. But if you're gonna post it all over the internet, for God's sake, at least call it what it is and own that shit."

AMEN

Song of the Day

I heard this song on Grey's Anatomy tonight. (Of all places, I know.)
But the voiceover the character is doing combined with this song, it was perfect.
And then to top it off it is my mama's birthday today, and for a while the character in the show was replaced with her. My mom. Because as she drew her final breath, I have no doubt that my mama thought the same thoughts and reflected back on her life too. Did she wonder what her legacy would be? I hope she did not worry about that. She did just fine.

Happy Birthday mama, this song is for you.

Seasons by Hollow Wood

Song of the Day (Norway Edition)

Because we sang this song often and at the top of our lungs. Everytine. 

Vance Jay "Riptide"

Dream Your Life Away

Last Day in Norway

Today is my last full day in Norway. And I would be lying if I told you I was ready for my next adventure. 

I have had a blast. Every single day that I have been here I have laughed. I've made some amazing new friends who I am going to miss dearly. I have seen and done more then I could have imagined. 

Norway has captured my heart.

I Am Thankful

Dear Heavenly Father,

This has truly been my year. Not in the way I had originally hoped- it's better. My 26th year has been amazing. I'm writing from Norway! How incredible is that?

I am just so thankful for so much.

For traveling solo and gaining so much independence in a short amount of time.

For the pride and sense of accomplishment when it all goes well.

For new faces and places.

For fellow travelers who immediately come to your aide and do all in their power to calm your nerves, to listen to you, and cheer you on and help you make the best of your situation.

Thank you!

For an amazing group of friends.

For a steady group of girls who've got my back.

For a group of girls who care about me and love me.

For a group of girls who open their homes to me and take me to the airport and see me off.

Thank you.

For this beautiful, beautiful world.

My God, is it beautiful.

Thank you.

For letting me wake up on the other side of the world and explore this beautiful place.

For letting me have this adventure of a lifetime.

Thank you Jesus. 

Thank you.

9 days to go till departure. I'm 5% anxious and 95% excited.
This is the opportunity of a lifetime. I am going to make every moment count.

I join my cousins as we share with you a glimpse of our granddad. Or as some of you knew him, Chuck Herzer. He passed away early this morning. I miss him. Oh my God, do I miss him. So many of my passions and talents come from my Herzer side. From him. I think all of us kids were sailing before we were walking, reading the constellations of the stars more than books. Thanks to him. And whether we were 2 or 22, there was always endless excitement every time our car turned onto Ludlow Bay Road. I could write an entire book about my granddad. But for right now, I want you to know how much this man will be missed and how much I love him. He touched the lives of so, so many. So I leave you with this picture, it is of him in one of his many elements. Hoisting the sails on The Adventuress. He has sailed his last voyage and he did it well. I love you granddad. I love you.

Yesterday was no short of wonderful. I was surrounded by friends and family- good company. Much laughter and conversation. 

But I have word (via Facebook, how classy) that my granddad had a massive heart attack. He is in ICU, where I do not know. I honestly know nothing of him anymore. When my mom died that was the beginning of the end and my brother and I have respected our granddad's wishes and exited his life. 

But I never stopped loving him. 

And you know what, my cousins are trying hard to make sense of it all. Calling him the salt of the earth and bragging about what an amazing man he is.

I already know that. And while it has hurt for some time, I honestly had him at his best.

Okay, that's not entirely true. He was never the same after my grandma died, but my mom made up for that. Oh, he loved her so much and she him. And Scotty and I being her children, it was a match made in Heaven.

Granddad was in my life during the crucial years that I needed him the most. In high school, I was up there almost every other weekend. Sometimes with Scotty, or a friend, but mostly myself. And we would walk the beach together, go out in the boats together, he'd sit on the dock and watch me swim in the bay. Like a lighthouse keeping a look out for the boats that sailed by. I'd stay up through the night and straight on till morning if he'd let me, just listening to him talk and tell all of his amazing tales of the sea. And best of all, that man taught me how to read the stars and find my way home. I can chart the waters and the skies all thanks to that man. 

My mother was an earth mother like her mother before her. My granddad though, he was a father of the sea. He appreciated the earth, that was grandma. But he is all ocean, the wide vast oceans. Granddad Herzer. 

The moon shone gold tonight and now it has vanished from view. I do not know if I will ever see my granddad again, on this earth anyway. But whether that side of the family admits it or not, there is part of him within me.

Granddad, I love you. I have always loved you and I never stopped. You are in my heart tonight, but know that you have never truly ever left it in the first place.

Song of the Day

I am so excited about this one! I do not know what took me so long to see Divergent. I love the books, maybe I'm a tad hipster? Anyways, during my favorite scene, when Tris is flying through the city at night and it's all so beautiful- the song in the background grabbed me. If you've never heard of M83 then please, please listen.

I Need you from Divergent / Artist: M83

I've been a huge fan for a very long time, I especially love Intro, Outro, Midnight City, and We Own the Sky. Go check those out! Just some really great music.

Song of the Day

Just two gorgeous voices and an acoustic guitar. The best.
So close your eyes, think of your own Tennessee. Mmmmhmmm...

Tennessee feat Meghan Tonjes by Tessa Violet



And in light of the great sadness this past week, I just returned from a lovely father-daughter night with my dad. I absolutely love when we can spend time together like that.  Here's to good times for all of you too!

Yesterday was the 6 year anniversary of my mom's death.
It was good. I spent time with my family and we talked and laughed.
We enjoyed being together and we remembered.

But sadly, my big dog died very suddenly.
I haven't cried that hard in a long time.
My heart aches, I will miss that bear so much.
So to honor and remember him, I made him this quick video.
I love you Bruno. <3

This photo is a recent find. It's from the end days. (Note the hydrangeas and coconut cake.) 

Those sea foam eyes look tired. 

My mama is beautiful here. While most probably see a sick woman, I see an accomplished artist who made a difference in the lives of her students. A daughter whom her father loved dearly and instilled everything he loved within her. A friend, who trekked the mountains and charged the waters and found her way home by the stars. A cancer survivor who fought for 6 more years when she was only given 2 months. I see a wife and a mom who loved her family with everything she ever had. 

My beautiful mama. 

Today marks her 6th year since she was called Home.

I love you mom.

Dear Humanity,

What the fuck is wrong with you?!

Plane filled with leading AIDS researchers shot down.

I am literally sick to my stomach. These were people doing good for the world. They were saving lives!! Think about it, fucking humans. Not only did you kill the hundreds of people on board, but you've given a death sentence to all of those they were helping. They were voices for those who could not be heard. They were hope for those losing hope. They were good people, the world needed them!! My heart literally hurts.

Bees are Fading and We Are Forgetting Their Importance

(Photograph by Hannah Whitaker for TIME)

Please read a preview of the cover story: Plight of the Honey Bee

Girl, what are you up to?

I've started a Travel Series on my YouTube channel. I'm very excited for it. Actually, I'm excited for my channel as a whole. I've been working hard on it. It doesn't get any traffic. Like, at all. But as long as it is enjoyed by a couple people, I'm happy.

Click here if you'd like to check it out. :)

To the Women Who Choose Note to Have Kids

This was an absolutely great article that I had to share.
To the Women Who Choose Not to Have Kids

I am twenty-six. I am single once again and have so far, never been married. The people I went to high school with and those I grew up with are either tying the knot or having babies. Then there's me. Struggling around trying to find the career that I want, let alone like. I like dating. Dating is nice, casual dating anyway. I just haven't found the guy that has captured my interest past the first couple of dates. And at this point in both of our lives I don't believe in stringing anyone. Not that I ever have, but I'm approaching thirty. I don't want anyone to waste my time, and I certainly do not want to waste someone else's.

Do I want children? Well, I always entertained the thought. I was never the one out of my group of friends that was ever truly gung ho about the whole baby thing. The years I taught swimming, I demanded to be far, far away from the babies and preschoolers. I love kids just after the potty training stage. I had those friends who already knew the names they were going to name their future children and now they are actually doing it. I'm just not feeling it.

I need to find the right man first. Let me put it this way, if I ever find the man God has in mind for me and he does not want children, then that is just fine. But if he wants children, for the right man, I am willing to consider.

I think society and the damn media, puts too much pressure on young people (women and men,) to get married and have babies when we're in our freaking twenties and younger. No, my twenties are for me and my growth. They're for me and my adventures. They are for me. And if I ever have children, I'd want their twenties to be all for them too.

Song of the Day! The Red, White, & Blue ed!!

On this kick ass kind of day, you gotta take a bit of that ole familiar country twang and a splash of good time rock and roll. Put 'em together and-

Only in America by Brooks & Dunn

"Dream as big as you want to..."

Happy Birthday America!!

I sure do love you!

10 Habits of Unhappy People (And how to fix them.)

This is from Tiny Buddha; Simple Wisdom for Complex Lives.
10 Habits of Unhappy People (& how to fix them)

Worth a read and certainly worth thinking about. It's so true, that so much of our own personal unhappiness comes from ourselves.

Song of the Day

Start A Fire by Unspoken

I just heard this song on the radio for the first time last week. And now, every time I hear it, I have to turn it up. Really turn it up. Give it a listen, you'll quickly understand.

Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame make it grow
So there's no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
So everyone around can see
That it's you, oh it's You that we need
So start a fire in me

80 Days till I am London bound...

As well as my half birthday. It has been exactly six months since I turned 26. And there are exactly six months until my "Golden Year" is over. It's been one crazy ride, but I honestly have really loved being 26.
And today was an exceptionally great day. The kind of day I live for.

Today I swung by Trader Joe's to pick up a couple things for dinner. On my way inside I passed a homeless man trying to sell some newspapers, asking for a dollar at most.
He was on my heart the entire time I shopped. So just before heading to the check out, I snagged a hearty sandwich for him.
When I presented him with the food, he captured my heart in an instant. He could not stop thanking me, he was so grateful. And absolutely starving. He told me I blessed him today, but really he blessed me. As I drove away I saw him bite in the sandwich. He took small bites, savoring each one.
And here I am, heading home to make a sandwich of my own. Most likely to woof it down and be on my way. It was a humbling experience today.

90 Days Till I Am London Bound

I am a night owl by nature, a creature of the night. But oddly enough, this is my absolute favorite time of the day. Five in the morning, just before sunrise. It is so quiet, the only sound is the birds occasionally and the water lazily lapping at the shore. And everything has a pastel tint, while that golden light of the sunrise is beautiful, I love just basking in the light of pink and baby blue hues.
Back at Robbinswold, I would sneak down to the bulkhead and make my way to the dock. I would lie down and just listen, and just breathe. Sometimes, if I had the time, I'd go for a swim. I'd always see seals. They would get so close to me. It was always so hard getting out of the water.
And back here at home, sometimes I'd pad out into the living room and my mom would be awake too. Sometimes she'd just poke into my room first to see if I was too. Sometimes we'd chat quietly, but most times we'd just sit huddled under a blank, my head on her heart, and just be.


God I miss that, I miss her.

100 Days till I Am London Bound!

The world truly is broken. It is disconnected and overwhelming, and on days like today it is devastating.
My heart breaks and goes out to the victims, families, and friends. I grieve for the grieving. For the students and staff whose lives were changed today. And for those whose lives were ended.
I'am so sorry SPU. Your city is holding you tonight. We are all aching with you.

Proud of this.

So this article pops up on my Facebook feed; 10 Trends Loved by Women Hated by Men

First of all girls, please don't make decisions based off what guys may or may not like.
Let me give you an overview of the article:


1. Floppy Hats. Reminds men of their grandmothers and gets in the way of kissing us.
Sucks for you boys I love my floppy hat. Not only do I look damn good in it, but it protects me from the sun while I enjoy myself at the beach. Also, if your grandmother is anything like mine was, then she is classy as fuck and disappointed she has you for a grandchild.

2. Acrylic Nails.
I personally don't wear acrylics, I don't have the patience to keep them up. But I like the way they look.

3. Bright Lipstick. Gets on everything. 
Know another thing they're getting on? Not your lips.

4. Heavy Eye Makeup. Apparently it reminds men of clowns and hookers.
And I hate it when you rearrange your junk in front of me, but I don't see you stopping so you're just gonna have to deal with my sexy smoky eyes. And my va va voom lashes.

5. High Waisted Anything. Again, reminds them of their mother and grandmother.
Seriously? Fuck you. It makes my stomach look fabulous and I ain't happy until I feel fabulous!

6. Teased Hair. Looks "messy and gross." Can't run their fingers through it.
My big ass hair compliments my big ass personality. Don't touch it!

7. Dark Eyebrows. "Clownish and too intense."
Well my fucking eyebrows are dark because my natural hair is dark. Stupid fucks. Hello, dark full brows like the ever gorgeous Brooke Shields. Not because of you.

8.  Peplums. Maternity Clothing.
I'm sorry, pull your pants up over your stupid ass and then maybe we'll talk. But, actually we won't cause I look fuckin' fine. From thin girls to thick girls, we love our peplums. STFU.

9. Pointed Toe Shoes. Reminds them of witches and the fear of being kicked.
Well now that you mention it... Sucks for you, they are the perfect shoe for the power suit.

10. High Heels. Being shorter then the girl. Hate it when we complain about or feet hurting.
No pain no gain. Women and high heels go together. As for the height difference, get over it.

I'm going to finish this with a fellow Tumblr-er who put it best:

Song of the Day

Everybody by Ingrid Michaelson

"Everybody everybody wants to love.

Everybody everybody wants to be loved!"

~

Because stupid Tom Hiddleston broke Tumblr tonight.

Sorry loves, he's off the market.

This song is for everyone out there that's just a little sad because of it.

Because he is such a unique, kind, loving, and all around great guy.

Of course we love him.

So like I said, this is for you.

You're looking for your own Tom and feeling a little down.

It's okay, we're all there with you.

:)

Do not watch or read George R R Martin's Game of Thrones.
Unless you too, want to turn into this. 

Dead eyes. Dead soul.

Song of the Day

Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon and Ladysmith Black Mambazo

If you have never listened to Paul Simon's "Graceland" I insist you do. 

Stop #FirstWorldProblems! Just stop!

Watch this: Kids from Third World Countries Read First World Problems

It embarrasses me to no end. Sadly, I think I may have written a couple #FirstWorldProblems myself. Bitching about my phone being a piece of crap. I truly believed by using that hash tag that I wasn't being rude. Like, hey guys I need to vent about something that I know is materialistic so bare with me. I warned you.

Here's what we really need to do. Don't do it all. Yes there are people above and below us but come on. I have lived a very privileged lifestyle and that video makes me cringe.

Everyone has problems, but don't be an asshole about it.
That's all I'm going to say, because honestly the video says it all.

Song of the Day

Heading to the beach today y'all. Seattle weathermen are notorious for being wrong 98% of the time. It's supposed to be rainy, we're talking heavy Seattle rain. But yeah no. It's gorgeous out, not a cloud in sight. So I'm going to do what every Seattleite does best. Not be able to find my many pairs of sunglasses and hit the beach.

Todays song is a silly thing that originates back in New Orleans where not even the creators themselves really know what it means. It's been covered by a crap ton of artists, but I chose this one because it's my favorite.

Iko Iko by Captain Jack

RIP Captain Jack, thanks for helping make 90's music even more awesome!

Song of the Day

This is going to be my summer '14 anthem y'all!

Hey Summer by Erin Bowman

Beautiful isn't it? 

That is Alki Beach and damn right I swam in that.

Windows down, music up!

Always have your swimming suit on underneath.

And remember it's always cold after jumping in, but hold on.

It's always worth it.

Hey there summer, I've waited a long time for you!!

Happy Mothers Day mama!

To the woman with the beautiful garden.

And the countless tie dye parties in her yard.

And the other half to my amazing dad.

You are missed, and loved always.

Song of the Day (Plus some new Ink)

Compass by Lady Antebellum

"So let your heart, sweetheart be your compass when you're lost

and you should follow it wherever it may go!

When it's said and done you can walk instead of run

cause no matter what you'll never be alone.

You'll never be alone!"

Ink by Angel

2014

Song of the Day

Alright, alright, alright! Can we please take it back to the 80's? The good 80's. My era. Yeah, I was a tad late to the party, but I. Am. A. Product. Of. The. 80's! And this song and I are the same age. (I totally just dated myself.)

No other reason for this being my SotD other than it's fucking awesome. And when I was at the beach today I walked by a group of teens who were blasting this on their boom box. So I did what anyone would do. I screamed with excitement and asked if I could join the party. Of course they obliged. Epic dance party ensues! This is a fun song and it was a fun day. You bet I'm gonna share it!!

Get Out of My Dreams by Billy Ocean is my "Throwback Thursday" Song of the Day!

Him and Me. Where it All Began.

He is not an avid adrenaline junkie like one of his close friends. Thankfully, we are right on par with one another. He does like running those marathons though. I am the one waiting for him at the finish line. I still love swimming in any body of water that I possibly can. He's the one fretting over me until I'm in his towel bearing arms again. We are currently vacationing in Kauai with my dad and step-mom. The four of us are in an open helicopter. My dad and I are practically hanging out the edge snapping picture after picture. My man is having minor panic attacks while asking my step-mom why my dad and I are so foolish. She just laughs and emphasizes with him. He is terrified and I never want to come down. Later that night I find him planted in the sand with a lightweight blanket draped around him. I sit behind him and pull him to me. He is slightly angry with me for having no regard for my safety. 

"What in the world would I do without you?" He whispers. I wrap my arms around his slender waist and kiss his neck. I tell him that I do not know. And I apologize for causing him to worry about things like that. The passionate kiss I receive in return lets me know that all is forgiven. This passion, this mind blowing passion we have. It is the adrenaline that we agree on. 

** This tidbit is my own musings. My inspiration is my love for, love. **

35 Clearest Bodies of Water to Swim in Before You Die

Oh my gosh, yes. My love for the water knows no bounds. 

Yes to all of these, yes to all.

Jenny Lake, Wyoming

Photo by Jeff Clow

Photo is not mine it is from the article. 

I am tantalizing you with it.

"...I don’t care what you look like, if Channing Tatum is interested in you, there is something attractive about you, so please grab a dress that hugs your curves and do what you need to do... "

This is a must read for everyone. This is not just for the big girls out there. This is for anyone who at one point or another has looked at a big girl and her thin man and said, "No. That just ain't right."

Do not look at a fat girl and tell her she is underserving.
Do not look at a thin boy and tell him he is settling.
Do not look at a fat boy and tell him he is undeserving.
Do not look at a thin girl and tell her she is settling.

Stop judging and shaming people for who they are and whom they love.

Alright I went off on a little tangent but I thought it was good. :) Please read and enjoy.

No, my boyfriend isn't "settling" for a plus-size girl.

Don't body shame!!!

If you are uncomfortable or embarrassed about having your picture taken, read this article.
So You're Feeling Too Fat To Be Photographed

And body image aside, moms need to remember to take pictures of themselves and be in the family photos. We have some really great pictures and I cherish them. My mom was a great photographer, but there aren't very many pictures of her. And now that she's gone that's all I want.

Gotta love making new friends.

<3

Song of the Day

My Lighthouse by Rend Collective is my Song of the Day on this Easter Sunday.

"My lighthouse, my lighthouse
Shining in the darkness
I will follow You
My lighthouse, my lighthouse
I will trust the promise
You will carry me

Safe to shore
Safe to shore
Safe to shore
Safe to shore"

I cannot express to you why this song is so beautiful. So moving. So true. This is the life of a Christian, a believer and follower of Christ. The world as beautiful as it is, is a hard, sad, and dangerous place filled with demons. But we trek on, through the hard times because He is there always. And we trust that. We trust that he is there every step of the way. Like a shepherd to his sheep and a father to his son. He is holding our hands and leading us out of the shadows of death and into the Light. Praise Him for is that not love? It most certainly is.

He is Risen.

I had a dream last night that my mom came to visit me. We sat in our fuzzy house robes and chatted like we always used to do when she was alive. Laughing and sipping on coffee while gazing at the water through the big windows in our sunroom.
I am certain that when I dream of her, it is definitely her. It's always her. I mean, our God is great. He is called The God of Wonder for a reason. Why can't He allow my mom to come down and spend a little bit of time with me? He is SO good.
And as I was getting ready to wake up my mama touched my cheek and said, "Don't waste your time bleaching your teeth. Don't worry about having perfect white teeth. Keep those charming coffee stains. You've got too many great things to do in your life instead. I love you."

And I woke up with a laugh. Who does that? Honestly, we all should.
Oh! And the best part of today? The Lord gave us a brilliant, vibrant rainbow.
These are the days I live for!

Seattle after the rain.

Him and Me. Where it All Began.

Today is my mom and dad's 36th Wedding Anniversary.

This is in honor of them and their love for one another.

It is the kind of love I hope to have someday.

I love you mom, love you dad.

~

As the stars shine high above us all, we are dancing around a massive bonfire curtesy of my fire loving sibling. Someone is playing the guitar and everyone is moving to the rhythm of life, dancing in the flames. As we all pair off and cuddle under the stars, basking in the warmth of the fire- my love and I twirl away and we frolic alongside the ocean. We dance under and in the stars. We kick up the phosphorus and I am lost at the wonder and awe that omits from my man. He has never seen anything like this before. It's all so beautiful to me. I run for him, wrap my arms around his slender waist and pull him towards the waves with me. He is clinging to me, so confused to my actions but trusting. And when he realizes we are literally in a sea of stars he begins to weep from the sheer beauty and wonder of it all. For his is an artistic and caring soul like mine. He gets it and it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed. I tell him how much I appreciate him, how much I love him and how lucky I am to have him. And he rests his head in the crook of my neck and sighs with peace and content. And the stars shine on and I swear I can hear my mom whispering to me,

"He's the one. The one whom I have been praying for, for you since the day you were born." And it's now my turn to cry because God above, he was worth the pain and the heartbreak and the wait. I love you mama, thank you.

So worth the wait.

** This tidbit is my own musings. My inspiration is my love for, love. **

"Blame it or praise it. There is no denying the wild horse in us."

-Virginia Woolf, Jacob's Room

The Road Goes Ever On by J.R.R. Tolkien
              my favorite verse

Still round a corner there may wait

A new road or a secret gate;

And though I oft have passed them by,

A day will come at last when I

Shall take the hidden paths that run

West of the Moon, East of the Sun.

Song of the Day

Praise the Lord by The City Harmonics

This song is beautiful. A good reminder to praise God at every moment of life. I had not thought about it in a long while, but we should not limit our praise. Don't just praise Him when times are good, praise Him when times are rough. It's along the same lines as the songs Blessings by Laura Story and Better then a Hallelujah by Amy Grant. God is the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. He is there through it all. And He is there when it is over too. Sometimes I like to picture a pair of loving arms embracing the earth. But then I remember, God is so much more then that. He can embrace the earth, the heavens, the universe, and each one of us individually. Right now, like a friend he could be sitting beside me. How comforting is that?

So as the month of Easter gets under way, I share this song with you. Praise the Lord through the good and the bad. He hears us. He is there. Praise the Lord.

Song of the Day

Song of the Day: Ukulele Creative by Blue Fox Music

I have not stopped smiling since I heard this song. It's so upbeat, so happy, so carefree! It reminds me of running around downtown Seattle on a bright sunny day in my LSP cosplay on the way to Sakura Con. (Blargh! Run on sentence that simply cannot be helped!) So much joy from one song. Give it a listen and just try to tell me you don't love it too.


Oh yes, would you like a bonus?! Yes of course of you would! ;)

I stumbled across a video on YouTube that utilizes my SotD just perfectly!

Tom Hiddleston (I can't take this anymore...) by TellMeAboutHeroes

This is the good stuff. Sunday. Rise early and start the day with a hearty breakfast then mosey on down to church. Great sermon, good word. Good friends, great weather. Great times with great people. Thank you Jesus for another day to live in your light and celebrate you. This is the life. 

Song of the Day : First Day of Spring

Today is the first day of spring and boy can we feel it. As per usual here in the good ole PNW we've practically traded in our cars and bikes for oars and rubber galoshes. It's been soggy and grey and at times I have felt a tad moldy. But today it is sunny and warm and glorious. As I sit here at the kitchen table and look outside I am thrilled to see clear blue skies and a beautiful golden white sun. Mojo and I just got back in from a walk and I left my jacket behind. The sun was so warm on my bare arms.

My mom loved spring. I never quite shared her enthusiasm for I was a summer time junkie. Summer meant no school, that's where my brain was. But now that she's gone I understand the importance of spring and why she loved it.

Spring is the worlds new beginning. Why New Year's is in January baffles me. The harsh frost of winter and its desolation is gone. New life begins to grow, green buds are popping up. Baby animals are born, and hibernation comes to an end. The cherry blossom trees start to blossom and Easter falls in this season. My mom always said that Easter is the real New Year. It is truly a day of beginning again and endless love. The sun is hitting my face now, comforting. I understand now, mama.

So here is my Song of the Day.
Sunshine by Matt Costa

I've loved this song since my early high school days. Don't be fooled by the date this was uploaded. I'm so old, YouTube wasn't around yet... It's short and sweet with nothing but his voice and his guitar. It is wonderful. Have a listen and happy spring!!

Sittin' around a table at our local Irish pub. Next to my dad and across from my brother, we enjoy a good meal, good company, and good conversation. When I am not speaking I like to sit back and watch my boys. In a little less than 6 months I will be on my way to London and I will miss them dearly. I relish these moments with them. I am blessed.
We raise our glasses.

~

"To us." My dad says. Scotty and I nod in full agreement.

"To us."

Here we go. This is actually happening.

London's Calling!

Shout out to my daddy-o!

He bought the ticket.

<3

Courage

"Courage has roots. She sleeps on a futon on the floor and lives close to the ground. Courage looks you straight in the eye. She is not impressed with powertrippers and she knows first aid. Courage is not afraid to weep and she is not afraid to pray, even when she is not sure who she is praying to. When Courage walks it is clear that she has made the journey from loneliness to solitude. The people who told me she is stern were not lying they just forgot to mention that she is kind."

- The Book of Qualities by J. Ruth Gendler

Warm sunny Wednesday bike rides with the bestie. Feet off the pedals and cruise. 

"Hold fast that which is good."
1 Thessalonians 5:21

Song of the Day

Tonight I got to spend it with my brother. First of all, both of our cars are out of commission so our daddy-o gave us his. I hopped in the passenger seat and we grinned at each other.
"Where we going?" The sibling asks as we back out of the driveway.
"Doesn't matter to me." I reply as we wave goodbye to our dad.

Couple hours later we're flying down the interstate, sunroof open, my feet up on the dashboard, and we are laughing up a storm. Our time together always consists of:
1. Catching up on immediate events going on in our lives; school, work, relationships, etc.
2. Discussing our father; believe it or not we do look out for him.
3. Going down memory lane.
Sandy beaches and ice-cream also usually make an appearance but we are both bogged down in finals so we couldn't make a true escape but Alki Beach isn't too shabby.

My Song of the Day, today is Helluva Life by Frankie Ballard

"Bad times make the good times better..." It just sort of hit me as we were driving along. There was a comfortable silence between us for a brief moment and at that point I thought to myself, "This is the good stuff." And this song just sums it up perfectly.

Heartbreak, tears, laughter, and mac n' cheese!

That's it.
That is the cycle of my life tonight.
My heart was broken and I cried.
Boy did I cry.
The tears were so good.
Then I laughed, it was joyous.
And finally I enjoyed some homemade mac n' cheese curtesy of my best friend.
This is how we survive the up's and down's of life.

Dinner with the brother. With a hankering for Mexican we downed Shirley Temples and freshly made tortilla chips. We laughed, we caught up, we enjoyed our time together. I love talking to my brother. He always listens and engages with me. When I talk, his eyes are always on me. We can literally talk for hours and it's always hard saying goodbye. I can talk to him about anything and he gets it. He gets me. I have some very wonderful best friends, but my brother... God love him.

Song of the Day

It has been many, many years since I remembered this wonderful memory. I was browsing Tumblr. (What's new?) And someone had shared a tweet that a celebrity posted about one of his favorite songs of all time. It did not have the title so I was naturally curious. As soon as I heard the introduction I was immediately taken back. Back to my high school days where I'd drag my angsty teenage self through the front door and there'd my mama be.

With Friday I'm in Love by The Cure playing in the kitchen.

Then we'd dance. We'd dance, we'd sing, we'd harmonize, and we'd always laugh. So much laughter filled that house. This was our Friday afternoon ritual. Without fail and I had forgotten.
So today when I heard it for the first time in over 7 years I got up and I danced. Baby I danced and I sang my heart out. Mojo was quite confused but joined in nonetheless. And the sun was shining and Hell yes. It was Friday, it is Friday. Perhaps for a little while at least I will carry on the tradition. Because it makes my heart happy.

Another prime example of how God works on our hearts. No longer do memories turn me into a sobbing puddle of feelings. No, now they wrap me in a comforting embrace and bring me joy.

Happy Birthday Mama. We got together and celebrated you today.
We're doing good. I think you'd be proud.

Song of the Day

Well all, I've been thinking about this song for awhile. It's been two days since the Hits Deep Tour and there are two days till my mama's birthday. I've been doing some reflecting. Plus I've got walking pneumonia so I've got plenty of free time. This year is the sixth year since mom passed away. They have been some long and emotional years. I miss her, but the pain does not pierce my heart like it used to. Her birthday is not meant to be a day of sadness. No. It needs to be a day of celebration and happy memories. My boys and I started figuring that out a couple years ago and come the 26th we are going to do just that. Celebrate her, remember her and be together because God knows that's what she'd want.

So it dawned on me that the three of us have come so far. We've literally faced death and have walked out of that fire inferno. Sometimes we kicked and screamed and fell back aways. But we were always there to lift one another up. There was no going on unless we were going to make it together. We have done it. We have overcome our grief, our pain, our loss.

Overcomer by Mandisa

Mandisa is a Queen and I love her. If you are in a hard place, and life is weighing you down give this a listen. You will find the strength that you need. God bless. xxx

Amazing Night of Fellowship

Hits Deep Tour

Song of the Day

I've seen some other Songs of the Day and they are fantastic! So much great music my ears have found their Nirvana!! So it's Valentine's Day. Whoohoo love!! And that's coming from a girl whose single today. ;) My pick for today is not (in my humble opinion) a mushy love song for lovers. Nor is it a love bashing, he did me wrong now he must die ballad either. It's avery upbeat and catchy tune. The link is to the original acoustic version, which is also lovely. But the iTunes version I invested in is such a groove! There are cowbells in it! Yes!

Who doesn't love cowbells? Happy Love Day everyone! Paradise by Katie Sky

Intuition

“I invited Intuition to stay in my house when my roommates went North. I warned her that I am territorial and I keep the herb jars in alphabetical order. Intuition confessed that she has a ‘spotty employment record.’ She was fired from her last job for daydreaming.

When Intuition moved in, she washed all the windows, cleaned out the fireplace, planted fruit trees, and lit purple candles. She doesn’t cook much. She eats beautiful foods, artichokes, avocadoes, persimmons and pomegranates, wild rice with wild mushrooms, chrysanthemum tea. She doesn’t have many possessions. Each thing is special. I wish you could see the way she arranged her treasures on the fireplace mantle. She has a splendid collection of cups, bowls, and baskets.
Well, the herbs are still in alphabetical order, and I can’t complain about how the house looks. Since Intuition moved in, my life has been turned inside out.” 

- The Book of Qualities by J. Ruth Gendler

Contentment

“Contentment has learned how to find out what she needs to know. Last year she went on a major housecleaning spree. First she stood on her head until all the extra facts fell out. Then she discarded about half her house. Now she knows where every thing comes from—who dyed the yarn dark green and who wove the rug and who built the loom, who made the willow chair, who planted the apricot trees. She made the turquoise mugs herself with clay she found in the hills beyond her house. 

When Contentment is sad, she takes a mud bath or goes to the mountains until her lungs are clear. When she walks through an unfamiliar neighborhood, she always makes friends with the local cats.” 

- The Book of Qualities by J. Ruth Gendler

Song of the Day

I stumbled upon this gem just yesterday! New Years Day?! How fitting and perfect is that? Something tells me that "This Year" is going to be my anthem for 2014. The fact that this has been on repeat for most of the day today is a good indicator. :)

This Year by Meghan Tonjes

"And I'm gonna be fine fine fine 

I'm gonna be brilliant-

This year is gonna be better

And you're gonna see

This year I'm gonna be stronger

And a braver me

This year I'm gonna make it 

'Cause I said I would 

Do all the things you said I never could

~

This year

This year"

Happy New Year

this is the aftermath of a fucking awesome night

#epic

Merry Christmas

From my family to yours

Song of the Day: Christmas Edition

I have some of the greatest memories around christmas time with my cousin. We were always running around in our colorful tutus because tutus are way better then fancy dresses and itchy tights. So there we are, dancing around the house and singing our most favorite Whitney Houston songs at the top of our lungs. And this is certainly one of them.

Do You Hear What I Hear by Whitney Houston

Oh that incredible woman and her incredible voice. I absolutely love how she sings this song. I miss her, truly. Her music was amazing and she sang with so much heart and soul.
Fom those first familiar chords to the ending that sends chills up my spine, this is song will always be one of my Christmas favorites. I cherish it and all the wonderful memories it brings with it.

Christmas shenanigans with the BFF

Happy Birthday my dear sweet friend.

You'd be 98 today. You were one amazing woman.

I love you.

Song of the Day

I love you dear friend. I miss you so much. Be well, I'll be seeing you.

I dedicate this Song of the Day to you. I love you.

Below My Feet by Mumford and Sons

My favorite patient passed away today. Even at the very end she was coherent and aware. 

The last words I said to her were, "I love you." And her last words to me were, "I love you too."

Goodbye sweet friend, you taught me so much in these two short years together. 

About living and dying, patience and acceptance, forgiveness and love. 

I miss you so much already. My heart literally aches, but knowing you are in a much better place helps.

Know that you will have a special place in my heart, always.

Today is my fifth Mother's day without my mom. I have some words of "wisdom" to any of you who are going through today without your mom for the first time. 

It gets easier. 

You use today to remember and honor her. And also to cherish and recognize the other amazing women in your life who love you.

Happy Mothers Day mama.

I miss you, and I love you.

Mothers Day 2008

Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Dinner downtown with my dad tonight.
Good long talks while sipping on hot tea.
Laughing while swirling pud thai on chopsticks.
Walking along the bustling city streets, holding my daddy's hand.
I will never be too old to hold my daddy's hand.
Always remembering to say "I love you."

April showers brought May flowers

And a bird overhead sang Follow.
And a bird to the right sang Here.
And the arch of the leaves was hollow.
and the meaning of May was clear.

-Swinburne

I am falling in and out of a lazy nap. The sun is shining outside my window. Spring has finally arrived. The old familiar fan in my room gently 'whirrs' about as I slumber on. I can hear childish laughter and smell fresh baked cookies and feel my mom's presence. Memories. Welcomed ones.

I wan to go to New Zealand so bad! No, NEED!
It had been a dream destination of mine for a long time.
Since my childhood actually, but then I went to college and life happened.
And New Zealand got put on the back burner.
Make it happen Katie girl, make it happen.

Long talks around the kitchen counter with my girlfriends are both wonderful and necessary.

Happy Birthday to this girl. I love ya Shi.

Girl and her dog.

It's true love.

What the lump...

SAKURA CON 2013

How fun was it to be featured on Funimation's Tumblr?

Freaking awesome.

These are the days that I want to hold onto, to remember. Beautiful sunny days. Laughing with my brother as we drive down the freeway. How carefree and easy it is to be around him. How blessed I am that we are not just brother and sister, but friends. I love sitting on the arm of the chair my dad is sitting in, just hugging him while he works and we talk. Hugs from daddy are the best. I love lunch dates and drinking tea. Exploring new places in the old city we live in. Getting lost only to realize we know where we're going in the end. Sunny days, warm sun and bare skin. Long lazy naps. Quiet houses. These are the days I cherish.

old friends are dear friends.

My Mama's Mantra

"I'll walk in the rain by your side.

I'll cling to the warmth of your tiny hand.

I'll do anything to help you understand

I'll love you more then anybody can..."

For Baby (For Bobby) by John Denver