Sometimes

I look at my body and cringe.
I look at the people around me who I think are so damn beautiful.
And I cry.

A part of me seriously breaks because I have never been such beauty.

And I hate myself.

I have been told that I am very beautiful.
I have been told many times that I am one of the most beautiful people some have ever met.
Lots of men (and women) in Europe I've learned, find Island girls drop dead gorgeous.

But what I hear the most is...

"Oh my God. Katie you are so beautiful. But you'd be far more beautiful if you were thin."

"But..."

"If..."

"Thin."


Self-hatred is real.
And I try so hard to remember that we were all made so very dear and special in the eyes of the Lord.
That for some reason I am supposed to rock the short fat girl title.


I just want to love myself like I love other people.